Over the years, I have heard the same story from leaders I’m coaching or training. They have a person on their team who is a “high achiever”, but who just gets into trouble when they're communicating with others or dealing with sticky emotional situations. They spend their time as leaders patching things up and apologizing for them, often finding themselves at a loss for taking their high performers to the next level. “That’s just Chris being Chris.” Sound familiar?
High performers are often the go-getters in any team—they’re ambitious, driven, and consistently deliver results on goal areas. But what happens when these high achievers have low to average emotional intelligence? They might be killing it in terms of productivity, but their effectiveness as leaders and teammates can hit a wall. Emotional intelligence (EI)—the ability to understand and manage not just your own emotions but also those of others—is a game-changer in today’s workplace. So, how can leaders help these high performers develop the emotional maturity and agility they need to truly excel? Let’s break it down.
Spotting the Gap: When High Performers Need a Boost in EI
High performers with lower emotional intelligence might be great at hitting targets but struggle with things like communication, empathy, and flexibility. They might find it tough to navigate conflict or adapt to change, which can create tension within the team. As a leader, it’s crucial to recognize when there’s an emotional intelligence gap holding them back from reaching their full potential.
Start with Self-Awareness: The First Step to EI
Helping high performers develop emotional intelligence starts with boosting their self-awareness. Encourage them to pay attention to their emotional triggers and how these impact their behavior, especially under stress. Simple tools like journaling or self-assessments like Everything DiSC can be eye-openers. Once they start noticing patterns in their reactions, they can begin to manage them better and see how their emotions influence their decisions and interactions.
Feedback Is Key: Keep It Real and Constructive
Sometimes, high performers don’t realize how much emotional intelligence impacts their success. This is where regular, constructive feedback comes in. Point out specific instances where their emotional responses helped or hindered their performance. Frame the feedback as a way to grow, not as criticism. The goal is to help them see EI as a set of valuable skills that will only make them more effective.
Build Empathy: Connecting with the Team
Empathy might not come naturally to everyone, but it’s a crucial part of emotional intelligence. If your high performers struggle with this, help them build it by encouraging them to put themselves in others’ shoes. Mentoring, role-playing exercises, or simply talking through scenarios where empathy could change the outcome can be super helpful. As they start to develop empathy, they’ll find it easier to build strong, positive relationships with their teammates.
Embrace Emotional Agility: Rolling with the Punches
In today’s fast-paced world, being emotionally agile—able to adapt your mindset quickly and keep your cool in different situations—is essential. Leaders can help high performers build this agility by getting them out of their comfort zones or most typical mindsets (see below). Challenge them with new roles, tricky projects, or team dynamics that force them to practice emotional regulation and flexibility. Coaching through these experiences will be critical. Try to schedule a preemptive planning session and talk about the people and the situation involved as much as you do the logistics or objectives that are necessary. When successful, these experiences can help them learn to adapt their emotional responses to whatever comes their way.
Emotional Agility Mindsets (from Everything DiSC Agile EQ program)
Wrapping Up
High performers are powerhouses in any organization, but without strong emotional intelligence, they’re missing a key piece of the puzzle. By helping them grow their self-awareness, giving constructive feedback, fostering empathy, and encouraging emotional agility, you can guide them to become not just top performers, but also emotionally intelligent leaders. This investment in their personal growth will pay off big time, both for them and for the team. And the next time you'll hear:
"I can't believe how much Chris has grown since they came to your team!"