Navigating Change: Manage Your 'Discover' and 'Defend' Behaviors

Have you experienced any recent changes in your life? Perhaps you've taken on a new position at work, welcomed a new team member, or updated your software.  And if you're a parent, you understand how children are constantly growing and changing.

In a world that is constantly changing, one thing remains certain: every individual responds to change in their own unique way. Whether you embrace change with open arms or feel a sense of panic at the mere mention of it, there is a valuable tool that can help you understand the different behaviors that emerge during these transitions.

In a world that is constantly changing, one thing remains certain: every individual responds to change in their own unique way. Whether you embrace change with open arms or feel a sense of panic at the mere mention of it, there is a valuable tool that can help you understand the different behaviors that emerge during these transitions.

This innovative tool, introduced by Caroline Webb in her book "How to Have a Good Day" from McKinsey and Co., offers valuable insights into our responses to change. It proposes that we each fall somewhere on the axis between "Discover" and "Defend." Some of us are naturally inclined towards the "Discover" side, where we eagerly ask questions, seek knowledge about new ideas, and welcome input from others. On the other hand, some lean towards the "Defend" end, where we may build walls, question those around us, and become defensive. Major changes, especially those that are significant or controversial, often push individuals closer to the "Defend" extreme. 

Now, let’s be clear here: neither extreme is good. You can probably already picture what the “Defend” extreme looks like -- hostility and anger. If you have ever had a moment of “I can’t believe these words are coming out of my mouth right now,” then you know how quickly things can go south when you find yourself there!

Likewise, going extreme on the “Discover” end of the spectrum can have its challenges as well. This is a bit harder to pinpoint, but if you find yourself constantly being taken advantage of (or walking into traffic!) you may want to start to take a look at your surroundings and see if there are any areas that you can question more before jumping in with both feet.

So, how does this help us through a change or conflict situation? As a Change Leadership facilitator who has worked with many groups in various industries, we've compiled a few best practices that should help you immediately.

1. Recognize the behavior – The first step in any behavioral change is awareness. If you start to notice when those words are coming out of your mouth that you will regret later, then you know that you’re getting dangerously close to the “Defend” extreme. Likewise, if you introduce a change to someone else and they suddenly snap at you, this may be a good indication that they’re suddenly in “Defend” mode. Once you get in the habit of recognizing the behavior, then you can start to manage it.
2. Ask questions – So it’s pretty clear that you’re talking to someone who is in “Defend” mode. Now what? Our tendency oftentimes is to get defensive as well, which leads to a vicious cycle. If you instead focus on finding out why they’re getting defensive, this will reel them back and shed some light on the root of their concerns. Can’t think of a question? One of our favorite go-to’s is simply “Tell me more.”
3. Know your triggers – It’s one thing to get others out of “Defend” mode when we are not there ourselves, but managing our own behavior is another challenge altogether. The more you look for moments when you’re getting defensive, the more you will start to recognize patterns. Do these moments happen at a certain time of day? Are they related to a specific change that you are experiencing? Is there something at stake that is causing you to get defensive? Once you start to recognize these patterns, you can develop a strategy for avoiding these triggers – or facing them head-on.
4. Be curious – Let’s face it – most of us could probably stand to spend a little more time in discovery, particularly when we’re being introduced to a change that we don’t like. Any behavior change takes practice, and by definition, we are going to occasionally slip back into old habits. In our office, we actually have a sign on the wall with two simple words: “Be Curious.” Because we can all use that reminder from time to time.

 Are you or your colleagues struggling through a major change? Contact us to learn more about how our Change Readiness tools and programs can help you and your organization!